Haiku Friday

On a Thursday! Lucky you.

On Thailand........


Full Moon over sand

buckets of booze all abound

Douchebag Paradise



***


"An iced coffee, please"

But when it reaches my lips

Am I drinking cake?





***

Tuk-Tuk twenty baht

black exhaust smells quite noxious

I need a SARS mask




***


Sunburnt robes layered

Your bright curtain engulfs you

What lies underneath?





***

A sweet, sticky clump

of coconut and white rice

with mango, I drool






On American Politics.....


Since when is war Peace?

A surge of violence out East

Barack, earn your prize



***


Yo, Copenhagen!


This blue planet needs healing


Stop fucking around



***


GITMO still open



Black hoods and jumpsuits I wore


their Justice denied

F U, ELEPHANT

Warning: profanity ahead. Inspired by the hilarious www.FUPenguin.com

So of course I thought Joe was joking when he said that you could play the harmonica better than me! You’re an elephant, for Christ’s sake. I assumed that because I have lips, I have the ability to blow air into little aluminum crevices better than you. You only have that that long-ass nose you grab bananas with…. And yet apparently this is superior to my pathetic little human mouth and chubby but conveniently mobile fingers.

IT WASN’T ENOUGH that I’ve spent my ENTIRE MUSICAL CAREER coming in second place to Asians . But no, second chair violinists and 3rd place piano player to the human Asian race wasn’t enough. Now I’m surpassed by the Asian ELEPHANT? On the least-complex instrument ever? You don't even have a TIGER MOM. You have got to be kidding me.

And you HAD to throw in that little dance routine, didn’t you? Rub salt in my white, untalented, callused wounds, why don’t you????

Now, not only am I embarrassed, I owe Joe ten beers. Ten of your own GD “Chang” Beers – you self promoting, big-earred whore. F U, Asian Elephant. For being so god damn adorable with your charming musical ability…. And reminding me how much a suck at life. Thanks a lot.

The Frugal Traveler: 36 Hours in Tak Province

Lonely Planet: Thailand aka The Backpackers Bible, refers to Tak as "particularly uninteresting", only including it in the book because "you might get stuck here".

I first came to the city intentionally (if only to meet up with some friends), but ironically, did actually "get stuck" there my second night, after finding out the buses didn't go to Mae Sot on the King's Birthday. Fortunately, Lonely Planet's review of this city may be an unfair write-off of hidden gem in Northern Thailand. While it doesn't have any outstanding "sites" per se, it does have some scenic river views ...and frozen cocktails. Throw in some bicycles to scoot around in, and the company of 4 wonderful people, and this city is worth more than a night passing through....

Whatever reason brings you to Tak, be sure to stay at the incredibly character-building Mae Ping Hotel. You might recognize the bathrooms from horror films such as SAW I-V and Hostel, as I'm pretty sure they were all filmed within these drippy, rustic tile walls. * Also, it's good to know that if the villians from these films ever did show up here, the rock-hard pillows could be used as lethal weapons.... seriously.

Those late nights watching Iron Chef at 4am in America will pay off when you visit Hot Pot the next afternooon for an endless buffet of creative soup conoctions - boiled cow stomach, bok choy... maybe some sushi... then of course don't forget the redbean and corn desserts. If you can even bare to stand up after this feast , exit the back into ... the Arcade!!! Watch out for air-hockey pucks that come flying towards your face.

Later, use the rickety Indiana Jones bridge to cross the Me Nam Ping, drink some beers on the "beach", shoot some fireworks if you got 'em, and watch wild horses toss their trainers into the sand.

Steal some bikes from your friends apartment to visit lesser known sites such as the Shrine to King Thaksin, the nameless road-side vegan restaurant (!!!), and then sit by the river and watch the Thais play on the newly-famous Tak tree swing, or effortlessly catch gigantic fish for dinner without so much as a fishing pole.

After the sun goes down, wander around the Night Market for an authentic eating and shopping experience. And while every city in Thailand has a night market to peruse- not every city has the friendliest roti lady in Thailand, or a VW Bus serving mysterious coffee drinks out of its side door.....

When it comes down to it, I guess it's the simple pleasures, the hot food, and the good company that allows you to open up and enjoy an otherwise average , middle-sized city in the center of Thailand. But next time you're traveling to Mae Sot, Um Phang, or Sukhothai... forget what the Bible says... and make sure to "get stuck" in Tak.

send cash! and cookies!

My address until March:

Casimira Younger
Udomrat Residence, Room 403
11/10 Naresuan Road
T. Pratoochai
A. Phranakorn Si Ayutthaya
Ayutthaya, Thailand 13000

welcome to sin city

Prostitution and "sex-tourism" are booming all over Thailand, but Pattaya seems to be the mecca for such a trade; it is still the Navy-boy hot spot that it was 30 years ago, and now excels at drawing old, fat, perverted men from all over the world (mainly Eastern Europe) to join the young soldiers in their sexcapades. Go-go bars and caberets line the streets, and overweight white men walk hand in hand with atttractive young Thais.

Prostitution is an ever-present evil that goes (surpringly) unchallenged in this country. Thai men and women [seem to] tolerate its presence, and even the farangs I work with claim it's "no big deal", saying things "are just different here"......

It's hard for me not to see the blatant injustice by objectifying, selling, and abusing women, not to mention its ties to the wider issues of third-world poverty and gender inequality, so I don't exactly accept the vindication of culturally-moral relativism. While prostitution is technically "illegal" in Thailand, anyone that takes a stroll down Walking Street will immediately recognize that not only is it legal, but flourishing, acceptable, and highly profitable.

Prostitution's presence in a society that is not only devout Buddhist, but also prudish and conservative in many respects , is one of the many paradoxes that keeps Thailand interesting. For this reason alone, and because I didn't want to be downer all weekend, I swallowed my liberal snobbery and heavy judgement, and became an accepting observer in the City of Sin this weekend.





they don't call it "International Meeting Street" for nothing

3,000 lanterns, 1 night.

these are fire lanterns, not stars.

As we watched 3,000 of them get released at the same time from the temple grounds, it was hard to remember what exactly reality was, where we were, and how we got there. Perhaps we had been transported into some astronomical dream on another world entirely. It was something inbetween outer space and lower levels of ocean floor: a dark place only visited by strange, bright and tiny creatures, glowing and scattered like stars, jellyfish, or Christmas lights, but with melodic Buddhist chants humming in the background. The lanterns, some attached with their own set of fireworks, caused them to skyrocket, mirroring shooting stars, but only feet away; beautiful, sparkling, and incredibly dangerous. The lanterns rose with grace, sent with blessings of hope and thanksgiving, and drifted towards other realms of the atmosphere, taken into Other hands. You could see the mass of them rise together and change directions, pulling west, then some, having already lost their fire, slowly floated down again.

Me: I think I've figured it all out. This ceremony is just symbolic of the cyclical nature of life and death, of karma and samsara. Of our beauty and yet our individual insignificance.
Brandon: Oh, really? I thought it was just about man's obsession with lighting shit on fire.

Either way, it blew my mind.

Teaching English in the Old City

When I told people I was moving to Ayutthaya, reactions came from all ends of the spectrum. Some insisted it was the “Must-See City” of Thailand, while Joe called it “the loneliest place” he’s ever been. David at least tried to hide his concern when he said “Don’t worry, if you hate it, I can find you a job in Chiang Mai in no time… But,uh, I’m sure you won’t hate it.”

But so far I haven’t had too much to complain about. My apartment is perfectly situated between “Soi Farang” on one side -overrun with backpackers, bars, and white people - and to my west lies an array of eerie, silent, ancient ruins. I have air-con, my own balcony, and even a big girl bed – something that I’ve desperately coveted after 4 years of dorm and community living.

Not to say I haven’t already noticed some differences between Ayutthaya and Chiang Mai. The sun is stronger here, it’s not overrun by temples– and there’s no omlette lady on my corner to serve me a 12-baht breakfast (perhaps the saddest thing of all). Also, the people don’t seem quite as intrigued by farangs. Meaning: theyre not interested at all. Menus are only in Thai, and when I ask for my som dtamm at a road stand vendor, it feels like I'm bothering her. Chiang Mai definitely holds a special place in my heart. I’ve spent the past 2 months experiencing Northern Thai culture and attempting Chiang Mai dialect (different from Thai), which proves useless in Central Thailand. Today at lunch over som dtaam and sticky rice, my school's administrator told me that I “eat like a [Thai] Northerner”, and although I don’t know if she meant it as a compliment, I took it as one.

Also, yesterday was my first day teaching English (officially). I got through the day without crying, freaking out, or scaring any children – so I’ll call it a good day. I have P1 through P5 (about 1st through 5th grade) and today my P2's were just a bundle of energy, and pretty fun to hang out with. My schedule is crazy easy compared to my other farang teacher friends, so, again... somehow, I lucked out.

Ayutthaya: so far so good.

I haven't taken any good photography of this city so far, so, just for kicks, here is a picture of me spooning a tiger. And Hannah, don't worry, the tiger was only slightly better at being "little spoon" than you. :)